(you can skip to the end if you don’t have 5 minutes go get through the list)
10. Worst Water
Snapple Agave Melon Antioxidant Water (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)
150 calories
0 g fat
33 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 2 Good Humor Chocolate Éclair Bars
While “Worst Water” may sound like an oxymoron, the devious
minds in the bottled beverage industry have even found a way to
besmirch the sterling reputation of the world’s most essential
compound. Sure, you may get a few extra vitamins, but ultimately,
you’re paying a premium price for gussied-up sugar water. Next
time you buy a bottle of water, check the recipe: You want two parts
hydrogen, one part oxygen, and very little else.
Follow up:
9. Worst Energy Drink
Rockstar Energy Drink (1 can, 16 fl oz)
280 calories
0 g fat
62 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 6 Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Doughnuts
None of the energy provided by these full-sugar drinks could ever
justify the caloric load, but Rockstar’s take is especially frightening.
One can provides nearly as much sugar as half a box of Nilla
Wafers. In fact, it has 60 more calories than the same amount of
Red Bull and 80 more than a can of Monster. If you’re going to
guzzle, better choose one of the low-cal options. We like Monster;
it offers all the caffeine and B vitamins with just enough sugar to
cut through the funky extracts.
8. Worst Beer
Sierra Nevada Bigfoot (1 bottle, 12 fl oz)
330 calories
0 g fat
32.1 g carbohydrates
9.6% alcohol
Carbohydrate Equivalent: 12-pack of Michelob Ultra
Most beers carry fewer than 175 calories, but even your average
extra-heady brew rarely eclipses 250. That makes Sierra’s Bigfoot
the undisputed beast of the beer jungle. Granted, the alcohol itself
provides most of the calories, but it’s the extra heft of carbohydrates
that helps stuff nearly 2,000 calories into each six-pack. For
comparison, Budweiser has 10.6 grams of carbs, Blue Moon has 13,
and Guinness Draught has 10. Let’s hope the appearance of this gut inducingguzzler in your fridge is as rare as encounters with the
fabled beast himself.
7. Worst Kids’ Drink
Tropicana Tropical Fruit Fury Twister (1 bottle, 20 fl oz)
340 calories
0 g fat
60 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: Two 7-ounce canisters Reddi-wip
Don’t let Tropicana’s reputation for unadulterated OJ lead you to
believe that the company is capable of doing no wrong. As a
Pepsi subsidiary, it’s inevitable that they’ll occasionally delve
into soda-like territory. The Twister line is just that: a drink with
10 percent juice and 90 percent sugar laced with a glut of
artificial flavors and coloring. You could actually save 200
calories by choosing a can of Pepsi instead.
6. Worst Juice Imposter
Arizona Kiwi Strawberry (1 can, 23 fl oz)
345 calories
0 g fat
81 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 7 bowls of Froot Loops
The twisted minds at the Arizona factory outdid themselves with
this nefarious concoction, a can the size of a bazooka loaded
with enough of the sweet stuff to blast your belly with 42 sugar
cubes. The most disturbing part isn’t that it masks itself as some
sort of healthy juice product (after all, hundreds of products are
guilty of the same crime), but that this behemoth serving size
costs just $.99, making its contents some of the cheapest
calories we’ve ever stumbled across.
5. Worst Frozen Coffee Drink
Dairy Queen Caramel MooLatte (24 fl oz)
870 calories
24 g fat (19 g saturated, 1 g trans)
112 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 12 Dunkin’ Donuts Bavarian Kreme Doughnuts
Coffee-dessert hybrids are among the worst breed of beverages.
This one delivers 1 gram of fat and 4.6 grams of sugar in every
ounce, making even Starbucks’ over-the-top line of Frappuccinos
look like decent options. Maybe that’s why DQ decided to give it a
name that alludes to the animal it promises to turn you into. If you
can bring yourself to skip DQ and head to a coffee shop instead,
order a large iced latte with a couple shots of flavored syrup and
save some 600 calories. But if you’re stuck where you are, you’re
better off pairing a small treat with a regular cup of joe.
4. Worst Frozen Fruit Drink
Krispy Kreme Lemon Sherbet Chiller (20 fl oz)
980 calories
40 g fat (36 g saturated)
115 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 16 medium-size chocolate eclairs
Imagine taking a regular can of soda, pouring in 18 extra
teaspoons of sugar, and then swirling in half a cup of heavy
cream. Nutritionally speaking, that’s exactly what this is, which is
how it manages to marry nearly 2 days’ worth of saturated fat
with enough sugar to leave you with a serious sucrose hangover.
Do your heart a favor and avoid any of Krispy Kreme’s “Kremey”
beverages. The basic Chillers aren’t the safest of sippables
either, but they’ll save you up to 880 calories.
3. Worst Frozen Mocha
Così Double Oh! Arctic Mocha (gigante, 23 fl oz)
1,210 calories
19 g fat (10 g saturated)
240 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 41 Oreo Cookies
A frozen mocha will never be a stellar option, but we’ve still never
come across anything that competes with this cookie-coffeemilkshake
hybrid from Così. Essentially it’s a mocha Blizzard
made with Oreo cookies and topped with whipped cream and an
oversize Oreo. The result is a beverage with more calories than
two Big Macs and more sugar than any other drink in America.
2. Worst Smoothie
Smoothie King Peanut Power Plus Grape (large, 40 fl oz)
1,498 calories
44 g fat (8 g saturated)
214 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 20 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
If Smoothie King wants someone to blame for landing this high on our
worst beverages roundup (and truth be told, its entire menu is riddled
with contenders), the chain should point the smoothie straw at
whichever executive came up with the cup-sizing structure. Sending
someone out the door with a 40-ounce cup should be a criminal offense.
Who really needs a third of a gallon of sweetened peanut butter blended
with grape juice, milk, and bananas? Sugar-and-fat-loaded smoothies
like this should be served from 12-ounce cups, not mini kegs.
1. Worst Beverage in America
Cold Stone PB&C (Gotta Have It size, 24 fl oz)
2,010 calories
131 g fat (68 g saturated)
153 g sugars
Sugar Equivalent: 30 Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
In terms of saturated fat, drinking this Cold Stone catastrophe is like
slurping up 68 strips of bacon. Health experts recommend capping
your saturated fat intake at about 20 grams per day, yet this
beverage packs more than three times that into a cup the size of a
Chipotle burrito. But here’s what’s worse: No regular shake at Cold
Stone, no matter what the size, has fewer than 1,000 calories. If
you must drink your ice cream, make it one of the creamery’s
“Sinless” options. Otherwise you’d better plan on buying
While it’s not on the list, the REAL Worst Drink in America is–
Liberal Kool-Aid
When someone tells you raising taxes will increase revenues to the treasury, even though every single time in history tax CUTS have increased revenues—that’s liberal Kool-Aid. When someone tells you taking money from wage earners to give to people that aren’t isn’t socialism—that’s liberal Kool-Aid. When someone tells you our God-given right to life as we please as long as we don’t harm others somehow translates into a requirement to buy a certain product or face penalties—that’s Liberal Kool-Aid, and that’s the worst drink of all!
BK
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