Mike went to some outdoor sports show and picked up a brochure for “Women in the Outdoors” classes put on by the Benton County Boss Hens group and brought it home to me. I personally found the classes and the descriptions to be funny and I think you may too.
I am listing the classes and adding my thoughts to the end of them so you know what is actual and what is opinion.
Bird Watching - Learn how to identify and log the birds of Missouri.
*No real comment - just boring.Woodworking for Wildlife - Build your own birdhouse to attract birds to your yard.*At least you won’t have to go far to watch and log them.
Intro to Quilting - Demonstrating the old and new way of quilting
*Maybe you can learn to quilt a blanket for the birds in your birdhouse. Or to keep you warm while sitting and watching the birds
Follow up:
Dutch Oven Cooking - Learn this easy and flavorful way to cook in the outdoors.
*Boy, this will make the birds tasty to eat!
Grow Native Wildflowers - Learn how to identify and use native wildflowers in your landscape plans
*Will this bring more birds in? Those little birds are not very filling.
Herb Gardening - Learn how to grow and use fresh herbs for your culinary adventures
*Spice up those little guys!
Cake Decorating - Turn your everyday into a special occasion.
*This is the only class I would actually consider enrolling for.
Trailer Backing - Learn the proper way to back that trailer without trying 50 times. (and no husband shouting at you!)
*First of all I am so tired of the generalization that women can’t drive - WAKE UP! Not all of us get nervous and jerky behind the wheel!! Second,husband shouting at you?? Screw him! He can back his own trailer down the put in and can figure out how to get the boat in the water himself! Good luck!
Shotgun Safety and Familiarization - Which end does what? What does “gauge” mean?
*Which end does what? Are you f*&$ing kidding me? How stupid do you have to be?? What does gauge mean? Who cares? I want to know how big of a hole my gun will make and how far away can I be and still do some damage? I bet he won’t be yelling about the trailer now, huh?
Archery - Learn basic archery technique.
*This is for when a shotgun blast is too loud. i.e.. - too many witnesses!
Self Defense and Personal Safety - Learn practical self defense and how to protect yourself if attacked.
*Take the shotgun and archery class and you won’t need this one!
First Aid for the Outdoors
*In case you actually get a chance to use the shotgun and only slightly wound the husband for yelling at you while backing the trailer up.
CPR - Everyone should know this important safety skill.
*This is in case you are a good shot (see above comment)
Outdoor Digital Photography - Learn how to make the most of your outdoor experience
*Like that is all something that I would like to capture and remember later
Scrapbooking - Keep those outdoor memories alive forever
*Number one, this is better known at my house as “CRAPbooking” Two, memories alive forever - I plan on drinking enough to try to forget some of those memories.
Antler Jewelry - Make yourself a pair of earring or a pendant with beads and pieces of a domestic deer antler.
*I think it is time to get the shot gun back out if your husband can’t buy you some nice jewelry and you have to resort to this. EEEwww!
Well, that is the listing of classes. If you have a funny comment about these please share it with me, I have a great sense of humor and trust me I am not going to be offended
Your “not so Annie Oakley” Cinderella
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