Are They Truly That Stupid?

I would like to declare that I now have solid proof that Walmart has now entered into the intelligence industry and is acting on information that the United States Government can’t possibly have! OK, not so much proof as conjecture. But still! Hear me out!

Walmart has stopped buying Uzbek cotton and asked it’s suppliers to stop buying Uzbek cotton. When I heard this, I thought Uzbek was some kind of new brand name, but then I realized it was a reference to the country Uzbekistan. I still get messed up when someone says Afghan, I’m not sure whether they mean the person or the blanket. “My dog peed on my Afghan last night.” That sounds very off.

Anyways, here’s my not-so-much-proof-as-conjecture:

Follow up:

The reason Walmart has decided to boycott, if that’s the right word, cotton coming from the country of Uzbekistan (would the cotton now be called Uzbeks to keep with the Afghan usage? “Give me two bags of Uzbeks please, I need to re-stuff my comforter to replace my Afghan my dog peed on.") is because, through their network, they have found that Uzbekistan and the Uzbeks therein, having been using forced child labor to produce said cotton.

Normally, corporations spend more time trying to justify / hide their actions in stepping on the little person or why they are looking aside at any immoral business decisions than they are trying to ensure tranquility of transaction. When someone says to them, “Hey, why are you buying cotton from forced child slaves in Whatwiffistanamania.” Their reply is typically that of, “What, us? Pshaw. Isn’t happening.” Yet, Walmart has come out and declared that Uzbekistan is using force child labor to produce their cotton.

Common sense dictates that no corporation tattles on themselves unless there is profit to be made (or loss to be minimized). I say, we can believe Walmart’s decree. This is the same tactic that a trial attorney uses; bring out the facts that harm your case before the opponent does, and minimize the damage, don’t let the other guy tell on you because that’s bad. I have not heard any rumor, argument, or plan to boycott Walmart because it does business with child slaves. Which leads me to believe that Walmart is coming out with it first to minimize the damage and show that they are doing what’s right!

Walmart’s motives aside, the fact is they have openly expressed a boycott over an atrocious inhumanity.

My question is, which brings me to my assertion, how did Walmart know that kids were spending their XBox time playing with Ginny? If we assume Walmart is correct in this, this leads us only to two conclusions: 1) The government did not know about child slaves producing cotton in Uzbekistan; or 2) The government did know about child slaves producing cotton in Uzbekistan and decided that it was OK and we should continue to do business with the country.

Now, of course it borderlines some kind of federal offense to insinuate that the US government would turn their back on such a thing (and if it doesn’t I’m sure that will be remedied soon). So, because the news did not say that the US government has prevented corporations from doing business with Uzbekistan until they change their ways, and the US government would never allow such a thing to continue and us prosper from it, I say they simply didn’t know.

Which leads me to the only conclusion I can logically, and without threat of being put on a terrorist watch list for accusing the US of omission of duty, Walmart is a better intelligence agency than the US government. Now this is not a prediction, but just a warning. With Walmart’s now-better-than-the-current-world-leader’s intelligence machine combined with Google and it’s ownership over the planet, 1984 is just a click away.

-Alexander